Clearing The Air
by reikat
Summary: The day before they marry, Eriah comes clean to to her husband-to-be that she can't conceive children, despite worries that Farkas would leave her over it. Instead, he makes it very clear that she is the only woman he wants in his life. Takes place after Decision Made. One-shot.


Eriah and Farkas were in Riften. Days before, the Dragonborn gave the Companion her answer to his marriage proposal. Now, they were preparing to meet with Maramal the next day for the wedding, having arranged it that afternoon. While Farkas was feeling pretty high in the clouds that they were going to marry, Eriah herself was feeling a bit blue. It wasn't that she was getting cold feet. She really wanted to marry him. It was just that she started thinking about a particular fact of life for her that she had only mentioned to all of two people, mainly because it was a personal matter and the two in question were good friends of hers. Eriah couldn't have children. She had known for over a decade. It hadn't occurred to her until now that she had neglected to tell Farkas this and it was very important for him to know. Along with the depression came fear that once he was told, he would change his mind. It seemed unlikely since Farkas was a man of simplicity. It was hard to gauge if he even wanted children himself but if he did and he learned his bride-to-be couldn't give him that...would Eriah be left alone?

"Nirn to Eriah. Are you there, love?" came his voice, bringing her out of her depressing thoughts. She jolted a bit and looked over at him. They were sitting in Honeyside, her Riften house. "Sorry. I was...thinking about something." she said. Farkas gave her a lopsided grin but it soon faded when she didn't return it. "Something's bothering you." he said, simply. Eriah bit her lip before she pulled her journal out from her pack. She ran her hand over it and closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn't put this off. He had a right to know and deceiving him for the sake of her own happiness was simply out of the question. "Farkas..." she ventured. "What is it?" he asked. "Have you...ever thought about having children of your own someday?" she asked. The man in the chair next to her tilted his head. "Sure. It's not something I normally think about though. Our work in the Companions, never mind life in general, doesn't guarantee us anything. Right now, I'm focused solely on the fact that tomorrow, you and I will be one." he said.

Concern marred his features when Eriah started burning holes in the ground. She wasn't even bothering to hide her sadness. "What's wrong? Do you no longer want to marry me? It's okay if you don't. I just thought..." he said before she looked over at him, rather surprised at his words. "No, no. I do. I still want to. It's just that..." she trailed off, her grip on her journal getting tighter. "Farkas...I can't have children. It's not that I don't want to. I just...can't." she blurted out. Farkas just looked at her confused. He was willing to admit being somewhat slow on the uptake but he was always geared towards action and left the thinking to his twin brother, Vilkas. "Would it interfere too much with your work? You tend to help Ulfric Stormcloak out a lot even though the war is over and when you're not running jobs for the Companions, you're almost always somewhere doing something." he ventured. "I mean...I'm physically unable to have children. I learned that I couldn't when I was nineteen." she said. Her husband-to-be blinked for a moment before sighing in what could only be relief. "That's it? That's what you were getting all gloomy about?" he asked. His nonchalance completely stunned Eriah who was expecting a radically different reaction.

"You mean...it doesn't bother you?" she asked, confusion coloring her words. "Why should it when all I care about is that I'm marrying the woman I love tomorrow and all I want is to have her by my side for the rest of our lives." he countered. Farkas leaned over in his chair to set a hand on her knee. "You're a strong, honest woman, Eriah. It takes real guts for a woman to admit to a man that she can't carry his children because of some limitation. It takes a real man to learn that and still want to be with her. This doesn't change anything. I love you and that won't change. Given the world we live in and how risky having children is anyway, I'm actually relieved that you can't." he said. Eriah felt a bit miffed at his wording but he made a very good point. The world at large was a hard place to live in, doubly so with children in the picture. As she grew older, the Dragonborn came to admire her own parents all the more for taking the chance.

Farkas came to kneel before her, his silver eyes meeting her browns. "I want you to really take this to heart, Eriah, so you don't worry your pretty little head about it anymore. I'm not marrying you just so you can carry my children. I'm marrying you because I love and cherish you above all others. I find it disgusting whenever I come across a man who pins the worth of his woman on whether or not she can bear children so I promised myself that I would never do that. For a more selfish reason, I'm also marrying you out of jealousy. I've been hearing rumors everywhere while I'm on a job on how Ulfric Stormcloak has his eye on you as a potential wife. Can't say I blame him. We've come through a war that you helped win and with you being Dragonborn, it would be the picture of perfection. Add in the fact you're easily one of the most beautiful women in Skyrim and any man would be lucky to have you. I just can't help wanting you for myself." he admitted. Eriah was touched but she needed to shoot down the misconception he got from others when it came to her relationship with Ulfric. She paused when Farkas looked into her eyes. "I have to wonder why you chose me, Eriah, when he could give you everything in the world and you would not have to fight anymore." he said.

She was once again surprised at how much farther in love she fell. He just kept surprising her and giving her even more reasons to stay in love with him. She took his hands and came to kneel in front of him in kind. "You're wrong about me and Ulfric, love. We're close friends, comrades, and veterans of the war. Nothing more. The rumors that I would be his queen are just that. Rumors. That's not what my life is meant for. I swore an oath to answer his call when the war with the Aldmeri Dominion happens because it's my duty. He knows I'm infertile and he has my permission to make it known to the other jarls. They must see that my value lies, not in his bed, but out among the people doing what I've always done since I came to Skyrim. And yes...I did love him once. You know that. But you can rest assured that I'm marrying you because you've become first in my heart. Whatever feelings I had for Ulfric aren't influencing my decision whatsoever. You're the only one worthy of me. I can only hope you find me equally worthy." she said. Farkas answered with a fierce kiss, making her squeak and then groan into it as she reciprocated. When they pulled back, he gave her a wolfish grin as he took in her flushed face and unfocused eyes.

"I'm glad we're on the same page. But I still feel like I need to make it clear to everyone else that you're spoken for." he said. He didn't give her much of a chance to ask what he meant when she felt his lips on her neck, followed by teeth. Her eyes closed and her breath hitched as he gently bit her and didn't let go. Starting to breathe heavily, she clung to him. It barely registered in her mind that the side Farkas was biting was the side Miraak had branded when she confronted his spirit after being haunted by him for so long. He knew it was there and why so it was no wonder he chose that side, staking his claim to spite the now-dead Dragon Priest and First Dragonborn. She closed her hands on his shirt while his arms held her tightly against him. If they hadn't already been on their knees, she would've lost her balance and fallen. Farkas, teeth to her neck still, shifted until she was flat on the floor and he was on top of her. Her knees rested on either side of his hips. His comfortable weight on her made her sigh as her hands came to rest on his back, running them up and down the hard muscle. Farkas eventually pulled away, propped up on an elbow, and smirked as she blushed profusely, leaning his head on a hand. "Wow." was all she could get out.

Throwing another wolfish grin at her, Farkas leaned towards her ear. "Just wait until tomorrow night. I'll really blow your mind." he said. Eriah got even redder and she half-heartily hit him on the chest. "Farkas..." she whined. He wasn't prone to say such things by any stretch but holy Aetherius did he seem to get in touch with his flirtatious side. The man on top of her just chuckled as he brushed some hair from her face. "Hey, don't stress. I won't do anything you're not comfortable with. If you're not ready for that, that's fine. I'm a patient man and I'll wait forever if I have to. All that matters is that you're with me to the end. Nothing else is important. If it happens, it will be because the time is right." he assured her. The Dragonborn looked up at him and just took in perfection. Sure, Farkas was a man of action rather than words but he was strong, loving, and saw her as an equal. Most others saw her as something to conquer either because they opposed her or because she was a woman, despite her heritage as a child of Akatosh. The man she was giving her heart, love, trust, and life to saw nothing but a woman he wanted to share his life with. "Thank you, Farkas. I love you." she said. "I love you, too, Eriah." he replied, before pressing his lips to her forehead.

He rolled off and got to his feet. He held out a hand and Eriah took it. He pulled her to a vertical base and gave her a sweet kiss. When they parted, Eriah sighed as she tucked her head under his chin. He responded by holding her close. She spotted the love bite in the reflection from her window and she felt her face grow hot. It was going to be tricky to hide and she didn't need incessant teasing from her shield-siblings. She decided to switch to a different thought. "Do you think we could probably adopt children someday? When we're all settled, that is?" she asked. "I would love that. We will definitely talk about it later but for now, let's focus on getting married first and we'll go from there." he replied. The Dragonborn just smiled before she pulled away. Running a hand on his cheek, she stepped away to head to the fire. "Let's eat. Perhaps afterward, we can go hunt to pass the time before nightfall." she suggested. "Great idea. However, when we eat, we still have something else to discuss." Farkas said, sitting down and watching her stir the cauldron. "What's that?" she asked, ladling some stew into a bowl to set in front of him. The thought that she was fulfilling such a domestic role made her feel warm inside. In her eyes, a strong woman was not only a capable warrior but she also took pride in the simpler duties that came from the domestic arts. It was instilled in her by her mother, a warrior for the esteemed Fighter's Guild in Cryodiil who took great pride in being the typical wife to her jeweler husband.

"The beastblood, Eriah. You do remember that you're marrying a werewolf, right?" Farkas inquired as he tore some bread. Eriah sighed as she set her own bowl down and sat down across from him. "You're wondering if I'm going to give Aela and Skjor an affirmative answer. I've thought about it all the way to Riften and I think...I should probably take it." she said. She met her fiance's worried eyes evenly. "I don't know if Mara's influence is running a little too strongly here but the way I see it, I can't stand the idea of you suffering this curse alone. Sure, you have Vilkas and Kodlak but it's different when your wife is involved. I don't care if it makes it safer for me to share your bed. I just want to support you in this until Kodlak finds a cure. Once he does, we can all take it and be free." she said. "You're not Hircine's, though." Farkas pointed out. "Not yet but even when I take the blood, I will never be his anyway. You see, I have this staunch belief that Akatosh, Father of Dragons, has first claim on my soul upon death. I was also promised a place in Sovngarde as a reward for defeating Alduin. As far as I'm concerned, the Huntsman will never have me. Same for Hermaeus Mora, who I know covets not only my soul...but _his_ as well." she said, sparing a single thought for the first of her kind.

Farkas reached across the table and set his hand on hers. "If that is what you really want...to share in restless nights, to feel the undercurrents of bloodlust, and to constantly keep the wolf on a tight line...then I know I can't stop you. I just never imagined that anyone could love me enough to sacrifice her humanity for me." he said. Eriah shifted so her hand took his. "It will only be for a short time because the moment we return to Whiterun, I'm going to talk to Kodlak and see if he's found anything. Then, I'm going to free you all with my own hands. Until then, I will be joining you in this curse you're under, my love. My only real concern is how a wolf spirit is going to coexist with the dragon soul I possess. If anything, I'll suffer more than you." she said. Farkas just gave her hand a squeeze. "I don't know how I got to be this lucky. You're the most selfless, self-sacrificing woman I've ever met. Just do me a favor and don't forget to take care of yourself." he said. "I promise." Eriah said, solemnly. With a smile and another squeeze, the two continued to eat in companionable silence. Everything that needed to be said had been said. Now they could focus on beginning a new life together. Eriah hadn't been entirely honest regarding her feelings for Ulfric but she was nothing, if not determined, to make this work. She loved Farkas dearly and perhaps, in time, she could leave the love she still felt for Ulfric behind as a pleasant memory.


End file.
